Each country is so distinct, so memorable, but there are certain inalienable similarities. The air is one.
Humid, smothering, balmy, and usually overlaid with tones of open drain.
Delicious.
That smell becomes inextricably linked with the delights of the region. Dense greenery, denser cities. Cheap beer, cheaper local liquor, smiling people, outlandish vehicles, and oh-god-please-don’t-stop … the food.
These are countries where you see building scaffolding made of haphazard bamboo, where electrical wiring clumps in nests atop wonky poles, where refrigeration is a luxury and occupational health and safety is optional.
Sure, the big cities have Louis Vuitton and consumer bling, but venture out and you can find places where you can lob a grenade just for the hell of it, buy magic mushroom pizzas on the side of the road, or eat a half-hatched duck out of the shell and follow it up with a shot of snake’s blood.
Ferchrissakes, you can even ride a bike without a helmet, that’s how close to anarchy they are.
It’s wild, dirty fun. With good food and bad toilets.
Singapore is a glorious, multifaceted city-state, but when you step into the air it’s missing the open drain smell.
Because Singapore is clean, organised. One might almost say regimented.
In many ways it’s more like a city in Australia than a city in Asia, which isn’t a terrible thing. But the beer’s not cheap.
Walk around the leafy boulevards and you’ll notice people waiting patiently at pedestrian crossings, with no cars in sight. Or motorbikes or tuk tuks, for that matter.
In the Botanic Gardens, perfectly parallel lines of Tai Chi types form. Graceful if slightly wizened synchronised swimmers, unfurling their limbs through the wet air. They look sweet, and totally obedient.
Energetic Lorna Jane-clad locals diligently pick up after their dogs, the greenery is topiaried and trimmed to perfection, and all late-night debauchery seems to be confined to the infamous Four Floors of Whores in the Orchard Towers.
And did I mention the beer?
I’m looking at a menu that’s cheekily asking for $15 for a Tiger. In Hanoi you can perch on a comically small stool and drink a Bia Hoi for about 20 cents.
A couple of years ago a Deutsche Bank report found Australia was the third most expensive place on Earth to buy booze — beaten only by France and Singapore. It’s a sin tax thing.
Singapore’s different to its neighbours. It’s regulated. Long hair, tattoos and chewing gum are no longer banned, but there is still a surfeit of rules. On his visit there this week Prime Minister Tony Abbott said — somewhat wistfully — that in many ways Singapore is more ‘disciplined’ than Australia. It’s certainly more disciplined than most of its neighbours.
It’s baffling to the brain, which is used to these hot humid places being somewhat lawless. As though discipline gets washed away when sweat streams through cleft and cranny.
That’s why SE Asia is so appealing to tourists, Australians included, escaping from their claustrophobically overregulated nations.
The only solution to every micro problem in Australia is to slap a regulation on it. It’s nigh farcical that in South Australia it took a nine-month trial to convince the government people could stand up and have a drink at the same time without falling over and glassing themselves in the head.
To be fair, that scenario may well have happened, but that doesn’t mean the rest of humanity has to suffer for one nincompoop’s mashed noggin.
Every rule, every law, every regulation should have a proper justification. They shouldn’t just be bandied about. They should be proportionate responses to legitimate issues.
Somewhere on the spectrum between Singapore and the slums is a sweet spot.
Where you don’t die of sepsis from bad sanitation or rabies from poor dog control. Where you don’t fall through holes in the footpath and the gutters aren’t full of rubbish. A spot where not only can you afford to buy a beer, but you’re allowed to drink it standing up or perched precariously on a stool.
Where the atmosphere is not oppressive and smothering, but tends towards temperate.
Source: Daily Telegraph
